Story and characters are copyright 2008-2009 by Eric Saldanha  

Feel free to comment and criticize. I appreciate the input.

Revelations. 

Sheppard was an atheist. He didn’t believe that there was some Almighty looking out for him. Nor did he believe in life after death. Losing those he cared about was always hard. He didn’t take any comfort, however small, in pretending that there was some heaven waiting for those who died.

The Marine had even come to regard the possibility of his own death with detached indifference.

And yet, he’d never imagined Hall getting hurt.

He waited for what seemed like days outside the operating room of the civilian hospital, still wearing the blood-stained utilities. Hall had been rushed to the green zone in Fallujah, and he had refused to leave her side. The clock, which had to be malfunctioning, told him only eight and a half hours had passed. All the while, he paced and fumed. Thomas and Zuluaga had come with him. They sat in the chairs and stared like he’d gone mad. Nobody in the squad had ever seen the coyote lose control before, or show so much emotion.

His movement caused the wound on his shoulder to open again, and a crimson stain blossomed on the bandage.

He ignored it and continued to pace.

Zuluaga grabbed him roughly by his good arm; Eric growled in annoyance. The gunner rose and locked eyes with him.
“Fuck rank, Sarge. As a friend I’m going to damn well tell you when you’re being a stupid motherfucker. You think getting worked up like a retard is gonna help make her better?”
Sheppard growled again and tried to yank his arm free, but Joseph had a grip of steel.
“And I’m sure she’ll be really happy when she hears you bled out by being a cock-strong dumbfuck again, huh?”

The words cut deep. The coyote looked away.

He knew the ox was right, but he didn’t feel much like sitting down at the moment.

His insides churned unpleasantly as he thought about Lauren.

The door opened. The doctor, an aged Russian wolf, stepped out and looked around.
Sheppard blanched at the sight of the blood on his smock. “News?”
The medic dabbed at his brow with a handkerchief before answering.

“We did it, American. She’ll be fine.”
the Marine breathed a sigh of relief.
The surgeon gave him a tired smile. “She was lucky. The bullet nicked the right lung and exited out her back, just under the ribcage. It almost hit her spine. The largest risk was that she lost a lot of blood, which we replaced.”
“Thanks for the help, doc.”
The coyote moved to enter the room, but was blocked.
“Give her a few hours. We’ll move her to a private room, and I’ll let you in once she’s settled.” The doctor examined him for a few seconds.  “Let me patch your shoulder up again, you’ve gone and opened the stitches.”

Eric shrugged. “I’m all yours.”

He followed him to an examination room.

Sheppard noticed the medic watching him intently as he worked.

Finally, the wolf spoke.
“It seems your interest in the female is more than merely professional, is it not?”
Sheppard tensed. “You don’t miss a beat, doc.”
The surgeon caught the double entendre and laughed. “God forbid.”

The wound was sealed and bound. Sheppard went to wait outside the ward after thanking the doctor. He hadn’t slept in over 24 hours, and was out like a light soon after he dropped onto the bench.
A nurse woke the coyote and led him to the room where Hall had been moved. She left to give him some privacy.
The collie looked small and vulnerable as she slept. Her chest was tightly bound; a dark stain was visible on its side. The monitor pinged steadily.

Sheppard remembered the muj who shot her, and felt anger boil up in him once again. This time, he dismissed it from his mind.

He sat by her bedside and watched her.

He couldn’t look away.

Her hair partly obscured her face. The soft brown fur moved slightly with every breath.

His paw moved to her cheek and he ran his fingers through her fur. He couldn’t help himself.

“Mmm. That feels nice.”

The coyote almost fell out of his chair. He withdrew his hand as if he’d been burned.

She opened her eyes and smiled sleepily at him. “I guess you can’t pretend you don’t give a damn anymore, huh?”
He’d never truly appreciated just how beautiful those eyes were. “Guess not.”

She pushed herself up a little, and reclined against the pillow. She visibly trembled with the effort.

Now he found it hard to look at her. “This is all my fault, dammit. I shouldn’t have let you come along.”
“You’re kidding, right? How the hell can it possibly be your fault?” She sighed. “You’re such a moron.”

He chuckled. “Excuse me?”
“You’re a moron, SIR!”

They both smiled, but sobered quickly.

When he next spoke, his voice was quiet. “Thought I’d lose you.”

“I figured you’d get shot first pulling some Leeroy Jenkins act. That was unexpected.”
“Yeah, no shit.”

She surprised him by slipping her paw into his. His heart rate spiked. “But I’ll live, right? And it’s over now. We’re going back. So you have no reason to act anymore.”

He smiled and gently squeezed her paw. “Yeah. I’m not sorry to get back to the real world. I got a cozy apartment in NY.”

Hall’s smile faded. “I don’t really have a home to go back to.”

“No?”
“My folks kicked me out when I turned 20. I was happy to leave anyway. It never felt like home to me.” Her eyes were icy again, hard and completely emotionless. The coyote recognized that look. It was a mask he’d worn many times to hide his own pain. The collie stared off into space.

He watched her, guessing at the demons she struggled against. Phantom images of his past flickered through his mind and disappeared.

He gave her paw another squeeze, bringing her back to the present. He wanted nothing more than to reassure her.

A thought occurred to him. True to his military conditioning, he acted on it before his doubts caused him to hesitate. “Doc said you’re going to take a long time to heal up completely. You’ll need someone to look after you for a little while.” He pretended to be very interested in the grime on his boots, suddenly nervous. “I wouldn’t mind sleeping on the couch for a while, you know.”
She turned to look at him, her eyes wide. “You’re saying…”
“…only if you want to.” The tips of his ears turned red.

The silence stretched.

This is SO fucking awkward.

“I don’t want to be a burden.”
“You won’t be any trouble at all.”
“I can be a real pain in the ass at times,” she tried again.
“After all THIS? Bring it on.”

She didn’t reply.

He locked eyes with her. “If you don’t want to, I’ll understand.”

“I do. I really do. I’m just a little confused right now.”

“What about?”

“Most of my life, I’ve looked out for myself. I’ve never had to depend on anyone before.”

Eric nodded. Been there, done that. “Is it a trust issue?”
“No. I guess I trust you. It’s just that I don’t understand why you’re doing this.”
“I wish I knew, myself,” Sheppard growled. What am I hoping for? Am I trying to help her out of guilt? Do I expect something to happen between us? He mentally reprimanded himself for his childishness. There was only one clear answer. “I do know that I want you to be safe. Offering you a place to stay is the least I can do.”

Her paw moved within his; she interlaced their fingers.
“Thanks,” she whispered.

The rush of emotion Eric suddenly felt was a stretch for him to contain. For years he’d numbed himself, and now felt a stranger to the feelings he’d forgotten.

“I’m here for you if you need it,” the coyote mumbled. He closed his eyes.

While he’d hidden his heart from the bullets and bombs, Hall had laid hers bare. She’d taken that risk, and was richer for it.

The sensation of her paw on his cheek snapped him out of his reflection; he glanced at her, curious.

Her fingers gently traced the line of his jaw.

“I still don’t understand why you care so much. Nobody else has.”

She examined him carefully. Sheppard found it suddenly difficult to meet her gaze.

A knowing smile crept across her muzzle. “So. I like you, and I’m pretty sure you like me, too. Why hide it?”

“Past experience.”

“Ended badly?”
“You could say that.”
“How long has it been since-”

“-Five years. We’re getting off the subject.”

She took his face gently in both her paws. The coyote allowed himself to be pulled toward her, numb.

She was very close.

He risked a glance.

Her deep blue eyes betrayed nothing, but somehow communicated open sincerity at the same time. They gazed at him with genuine concern. And there was something else, a sort of quiet desperation in her look.

He couldn’t turn away.

Reason and Emotion raged against each other.

Her voice was soft when she spoke. “God knows we both need this, Eric.” The collie searched his face. “I’m willing to take the risk if you are.” The urgency was clear in her tone.

Emotion won.

The coyote nodded. Something had clicked within him, and he was resolute.

Suddenly, every sense seemed amplified tenfold. He felt more alive than he’d ever been.

She tilted her head to meet him as he leaned in.

The kiss was electrifying. Sheppard felt his heart rate jump; Once again, memories rushed toward the surface, but the coyote was ready. He pushed them from his mind. For a long moment, their world was ethereal; their souls were bared to each other. The two of them were all that existed in their shared emptiness.

After what seemed like ages, they reluctantly pulled away.

Hall was breathing hard, as was Sheppard. As awareness of his surroundings returned, he noticed that the monitor by her bedside was pinging rather rapidly.

The collie was visibly blushing; the coyote felt hot blood rush to his own face.

She smiled. “Wow.”

Dumbstruck, he nodded.

The door banged open behind him.
“Hey, Sarge! We gotta-”

Eric quickly but gently extricated himself from Lauren’s embrace. Thomas stood in the entrance, gawking. His look of surprise slowly turned to a wide grin.

“DUDE! I FUCKING KNEW IT!” he burst out laughing. “José, get your ass over here! You are NOT gonna believe this!”

Sheppard heard footsteps. A huge black-furred arm shot in through the doorway, grabbed the back of Dwayne’s Kevlar, and yanked him out of the room. Thank God for Zuluaga.
The coyote sighed. “I’d better get going.”

He leaned in and gently nuzzled her cheek; she let out a low murr.

“See you tomorrow, okay?” The noncom stood to leave.

“Okay.”

He was at the door when her heard her call out to him.
“Eric?”

“Hm?”

“Thanks. You know, for everything.”

He shook his head.
“No. Thank you.”

As he left the room, Sheppard reflected on the day, and the unexpected turn of events. And for the first time in years, the Marine held a glimmer of hope for the future.

*****